big boy unnerwear and stickers galore

I can't say he's trained and I'm still a wreck, but we put B in big boy underwear on Saturday. He only had 2 wet accidents on Saturday (one which was tee tiny and barely made it to his shorts that I chalked up to timing), one poop accident on Saturday, and one wet accident yesterday afternoon (m-i-l said he was very embarassed to have had an accident outside with his grandpa).

B's mightily chuffed to be wearing big boy underwear and had a fit when we had to put swimmies on for the pool this morning (more so for a #2 accident than anything), but helped me pick out underwear to pack for after the pool. He got a special prize for cooperating so well on Saturday. RC2 had sent us our gift train for returning products in the Thomas recall so we handed his Diesel over to him after he was dry at naptime. (We don't consider sleeping wets to be accidents because he can't help it.) I get mightily chuffed everytime he asks to go to the bathroom and pees!

But, I've been a wreck. I was anxious all weekend that he'd just let go and pee all over. I felt I was constantly reminding him or asking him. Yesterday morning, I dragged him upstairs after he insisted for 3+ hours he didn't have to go. Then he went.

I cried Saturday morning. The stress is so unreal. Especially with Hubby having suggested we cancel our August trips and saying that little sister and I shouldn't take B to the beach this coming weekend. I just broke down about giving up things that mean so much to me over something I can't control. I just felt chained to the house. Hubby thought long and hard and realized that B needs to be able to do it in the potty other places than just at home (let's not forget we had our first great successes on our June trip to VT). I hate to think Hubby gave in to me just because I was so upset, but there it is. I wasn't trying to manipulate him, I was geniunely a wreck, like thisclose to hysterical.

I was also a harridan to B Saturday night about the poopcident. Mostly I was upset because at the last minute Hubby went to a concert leaving me at home (after I'd been bereft about being tied to the house over something I can't control, B's potty habits), but I just lost when after I'd asked B repeatedly if he had to poop, he just pooped in his big boy underwear. I know screaming that it was unacceptable was completely the wrong way to respond and the kid's probably going to get constipated and not poop for days. I apologize profusely and told B that I was wrong. That mommy was bad to yell like that. I also explained why I was frustrated, not because he pooped in his pants, but because he told me he didn't have to when he did and so I couldn't help him get to the potty.

I know a lot of my stress has been my imagination working on me about today (and the long-term deadline holding back etc). B went to school in his big boy underwear and I'm terrified that he's made a huge mess all over the place, that he'll have a conniption if they try to put him into a pull-up and then I'm going to be spoken to. Recently, he had a fit over a change and the girl said she nearly called me (not that calling me about a tantrum would have done her any good, I usually just let him get it all out). Nearly 35, a manager of a multi-million dollar unit and I still have anxiety over authority figures telling me something's wrong. I'm cracked in the head, really. Who nearly comes to tears over imaging that kind of scenario? Me, waiting for the bus this morning, that's who.

The scary thing is that Hubby's been really calm about it, pointing out that B's not going to be the first kid who had an accident at daycare (and really, B's had some huge ones in pull-ups). He was super patient with B and a very good cheerleader, too. I'd like to get back to normal, please, where I'm the one talking him down from a worst-case head trip.

I hope to have good news on this front tomorrow. I know I'll at least have the start to a sock heel! Much, much progress was made this weekend on the knitting front at least.