my life as a crocheter & knitter & working mom

Thursday, September 30, 2004

yarn greed and "talks"

I decided that I really want the bargain ASC on eBay. Can you beat less than $3 a ball for it (about 3.60with shipping)? I don’t think so! I’m getting 10 in copper and 10 in sizzling. Yes, red and orange. What’s it to you? Hopefully, she’ll ship it to me at work and my husband needn’t know. He was not happy about the Herrschner’s purchase.

The least he can do, since he won’t let me get a housekeeper, is allow me to indulge the yarn greed once in a while. Although, it’s a little too frequent to call it once in a while!

I did some knitting on the way home last night and none on the way in. I’m just so beat in the mornings lately. I really do need to get it in gear, though.

I did not do any work on my dress last night. My husband and I had a “talk.” Seems he was concerned that I’ve been really grumpy. So, we cleared the air and agreed that we need to really communicate more. I figured I’d just been having some moods lately. I think it’s time to get Dr. Mayer to adjust my meds. Don’t want to let the PPD creep back out of control, especially not with current stress levels. I had to laugh, though. The talk became the typical husband/wife talk, you don’t help out enough, tell me what you need me to do, etc... Could have lifted it right out of a Parents magazine article about being grumpy with husbands.

Honestly, I don’t worry too much about our relationship. I think it’s pretty solid. I do worry about my moods and inability to communicate. And to let him help me. I have a huge problem asking for help. One way to tell I was very concerned about my mood after Billy was born was that I actually asked for help.

May have mentioned this before, but my sisters and I were raised to be very self-reliant and independent. My mom didn’t believe in coddling us. She waits on me a bit now, but growing up we were expected to really take care of ourselves. I was also given the responsibility at a young age of taking care of my sisters. I was 12, they were 8 and 7. My mom wasn’t coddled and her mom surely wasn’t coddled.

I can see the genesis of our upbringing in my grandmother’s childhood. She was 13 when her mom died. She lived on the farm with her dad and two much younger brothers. For a time she lived with a childless aunt in town so she could finish high school, but her life was taking care of them all. She married pretty much right out of high school and had six kids, two of whom died young. My mom became the baby of the family when her youngest sister drowned. Mom was about 13; Aunt Louise was 9.

Long post and I really need to get to a meeting (I’m running it).

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