my life as a crocheter & knitter & working mom

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

unfortunately, not more Koigu

So, I’m debating a long post. I need to vent a bit, so I think I’ll start with Billy and the biting and see where that takes me. (And if it’s long, so be it. You’ve missed me for the last four days, I’m sure.)

The last three days he’s been in day care, Billy has had 8 biting incidents (not counting the five times today that his lead care giver was able to stop him).

After staying home with him yesterday because he had snotty eyes—which is as gross as it sounds—because day care would have just sent him home as soon as they noticed, and taking him to the doctor and the pharmacy, I didn’t need to get called out of the office at 11:25 to pick him up because he’s a little terror. I had barely gotten through all 130+ e-mails, moved one issue, and had a 30 minute conference call with my boss and a free lancer.

So, I’ve got a call in with the pediatrician’s office (after her nurse suggested my husband and I bite him back, WTF???) and he can go back to day care tomorrow, but if he’s a problem, hubby’s dealing. I’ve done some research online about aggressive behavior but it’s all stuff they/we already do (and I love that I’m supposed to get my barely verbal 19-month-old to tell me why he bit little Johnny). They watch him closely, they give him time outs, and he gets rewarded for good behavior. His lead said this afternoon it’s like he waits until he knows they aren’t watching and then he bites.

I just don’t know what to do. I hope the doctor has some useful advice. Perhaps it’s time we called in some professional help, but what can you do with a kid his age? He can’t tell you why he has to have the toy the other kid is playing with. I guess we need to start helping him with delayed gratification. Of course, when I deny him something, he throws himself backwards and screams. He doesn’t bite me when he’s mad. When he tries to bite me, it’s more of a play thing than anger.

Tomorrow, I’ve got to get further caught up on my projects, meet with 8 staff members about their end of year projects, and complete a couple of reports. Helpfully, my assistant manager has been out sick the last couple of days, too.

Oh, and I left my cell phone on the bus. The lady who found it said she was going to mail it to me. Once I get it back, I’m going to call her and get her address and reimburse her for the postage. I hope I have the phone back beforeThursday, it will make coordinating with Hubby much easier.

Because Thursday, we drop Billy off at day care and drive south to Atlantic City and Stitches East. I love my son, but I’m looking forward to three days without him. Three days of knitting, knitters and all the yarn I can carry. I don’t love my job, but I do think it will be coming to AC with us. I hope there’s a hot spot somewhere so I can get a little bit of work done. I’m falling ever farther behind.

Maybe tomorrow, if I have time, I’ll write about knitting or yarn or something.

1 comment:

Yarngirl said...

I'm sorry you guys have to go thru that biting thing. I went thru it 17 years ago with my oldest - he pretty much only bit me, and on the back of the legs to get my attention when I was washing dishes etc. My doctor gave us the same advice = bite him back. I know it sounds terrible. And I wouldn't advocate it these days at all, but back then, I didn't know any better. The next time he bit me, I quickly but gently grabbed his arm, put my mouth on him and never even let my teeth touch him - it was enough to scare the pants off both of us. It did work - but I wish I knew of a better way to accomplish that - I only have experience now with biters in school in my autistic class, and they only teach us how to get out of a bite, not how to stop the behavior. I hope you find a kind, non traumatic way for all of you to solve that dilemma.