my life as a crocheter & knitter & working mom

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

black hole

I wanted to update you on the sleeve I started, but I'm swamped with work and starting to drown in my own whatever.

I sure wish those meds would kick back in (and I made an appointment with my psych).

I will leave you with some scribbles that help define the turn of events.

It’s a slippery slope
the slide is infinitesimal
All the while
I’m slipping further into the void
Thinking it’s still a sunny day
Until I feel the monster raging
She bursts through me
In screaming rages
Curses flying from her throat
Thoughts barely formed
In the calm
After the storm
I realize
I haven’t felt a smile
In weeks
Now that she’s wreaked havoc
I’m left with the knots
In my stomach and theirs
And constant tears
Burning my eyelids

(goes without saying (c) me forever and ever)


CygKnit said...

Oh, honey. Having been on meds before, I know where you are. And it isn't fun. You've done what you could by calling the Dr. Email if you want to "talk."

Yarngirl said...

Hey Hon, I'm here for you. There's no need to suffer alone. Sending many good thoughts those darn meds get going soon.

Susan said...

Oh, Annette, the only good thing I can say about that is that you've got some poetry in you and you should keep on writing it down if only to get it out of your head. I hope that things are under control for you soon, and I'm here for you if you want to talk. I also give you permission (just in case you need it from someone else) to knit something other than a sleeve if you find sleeve island to be too much of a downer.